Some days are just too much.
It doesn't seem to matter how hard I strive, how determined I am. Life gives no fucks. I've struggled for years and the fact is that life is just too damn much.
"They" say there is no harm in asking for help from others. Yet, there is. Asking for help makes you vulnerable because when no one shows up to help (or worse says they will but never does), it's a big neon flashing sign screaming "YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN".
I've been fighting like hell to keep moving, to keep going. Every step I accomplish forward, life hits me back another ten feet. I can't even come up with a plan that even remotely appears to move forward.
I am alone. I go through these periods where I convince myself that I'm not alone. That there are people who care enough about me that they'd willingly help me as much as I strive to help them.
Yet, it never really works out that way. It seems my life has been a series of me doing for others and there not being anyone around when I need them.
I am so overwhelmed. There is no one to talk to. I've asked help from those I could and the result was they were no longer around. Or they keep stringing me along telling me they'll come at some future date to help.
Fuck this world. Fuck everyone in it.
Just for today, I wish the damn planet would just implode.
