If only....

If only I could hate him.

If only I could shut down all emotions.

If only I could be as emotionless as he appears.

Then it would be easier.

For the short term.

For being all those things would also mean that I would not be true to myself.

I am a person with a depth of emotion. The depth of pain I feel now enables me to also feel the depths of joy and love that I am capable of feeling.

It's worth it.

Even if it doesn't feel like it today.