Trust: Make Sense of this For Me Please

How is it this can be the case......

I trust a particular person in all areas of the bedroom. I will let him choke me, pound himself deep into me with such strength that I have to lie with an ice pack between my legs afterward, and do pretty much anything he so desires to me if its' sexual related.

However, I can NOT trust him to be honest with me.

I can NOT trust him not to do hurtful things to myself or my children.

I can NOT trust him to be honest with others about my children or I.

I can NOT trust him not to take money from me.

I can NOT trust him not to take my son's, or my own, prescribed medications.

I can NOT trust him to keep what I confided in him confidential (even though I've told no one the dark, deep secrets he's told me).

I can NOT trust him to be in my life.

So, how can I trust him sexually when I trust NO ONE else?

How does this make sense at all?

Addict

People keep pointing the finger and declaring, "That person is an addict! Why would you spend time with them?"

It is a knife stuck deep within me.

Because I am an addict

Always will be.

I know the struggle.

I know how it feels to relapse.

My issue is that so many have a stereotypical idea of what an addict is and judge accordingly.

When I call them out and say, "But I'm an addict" they proceed to tell me all the reasons it's different.

But it's not.

I KNOW that the only reason I was able to stay clean so long was because I got pregnant and had children right after getting clean.

Without that, I would have been like others.

Orgasm

I didn't know I could have orgasms.

I thought I was broken. 

But then he gave them to me. 

Mind Blowing

  Earth Shattering

    Bed Soaking

  

      Squirting

        Whole Body Quivering

You never gave me those. 

You I had to train just to be able to move past "stupid teenage sex"

You trained well

But after 8 months I'm ready to have those orgasms again

I told you it was "good"

It was good, once you started heeding my lessons

But I'm moving on to 

Mind Blowing

  Earth Shattering

    Bed Soaking

  

      Squirting

        Whole Body Quivering

I'm sure while you're with your junkie girlfriends, you'll remember that I gave, to use your words, "the best head hands down" and wonder if the needle's liquid coursing through your veins is worth it.