A Man, A Woman, and A Love Story

I look at you and see a man that has conquered so much.

A man that fought some demons and won but other demons he merely buried deep enough within him he thought no one would ever be able to sense they were there.

A man that has held a deep capacity to feel his own emotions but always kept them locked within certain limits.

A man who allowed the emotions of others to fully flow through him so that he could help them, no matter the cost to self.

A man that allowed emotions of others to live vicariously so that even though he kept his emotions under such tight lock and key, he still felt that he lived on some level.

A man that understands the full impact of whatever this is between us but most importantly, is strong enough and brave enough to not only embrace it but to embrace me in the same grip so that I am also strong enough.

A man that hides from the entire world and yet makes the world think that they know him.

A man that will live his entire life never being able to see how beautiful he truly is, but will believe it only because the woman he loved insists that it is so.

The woman who, already understands, that her life has forever been changed and altered in such a way that she will finally, at long last, have the safety and security she thought had forever been destroyed when she was just a small child.

The woman who would gladly give her life if that was the only way it could bring happiness to you.

The woman that knows, for the first time ever, that there is truly a reason to have faith in humanity and that reason is something she never believed existed:

A love like ours.

I Found "The One"

I found "the one". I know what you are thinking. Didn't I already say this before? Didn't I rave about how I'd found "the one" and we'd live happily ever after?

Yes, I did. However, I discovered that he could not meet ALL my needs. Let's face it, I'm not perfect. Add to that imperfection the myriad of situations I face in a day due to health issues or special needs......well, life is pretty hectic in these here woods. I don't consider myself a needy person, but am starting to realize that I really am.

I need so many things.

I need someone to tell me on occasion that I'm doing a good job. I need someone to offer me their strength when I'm to weak to go on. I need someone whose going to fight battles with me and sometimes even fight them for me. I need someone to forgive me for all the things I do wrong, over and over again if need be. I need someone to provide for the basic neccesities in life and then enough to give the kids and I some extra luxuries. Someone who'll give me gifts, not because of what I did, but simply because they love me. I need someone who loves me enough that if I'm messing up, they are going to speak up and tell me. I need someone who, after pointing out where I'm messing up, will let me know they are going to support me, hold me accountable, and help me fix whatever the issue is.

I need someone to remind me that those I'm losing to death are in a much better place and no longer are in pain. I need someone to understand why I cry on anniversaries of certain deaths or on the birthdays of those long passed. I need someone to tell me it's OK and just to comfort me as I cry.

I need someone to understand what it's like to go day after day smiling, when physically the pain never goes away. I need someone to understand the health issues or special needs my children are facing and love them wholeheartedly regardless.

I need someone who thinks I'm beautiful and pricelss regardless of whether I gain, or lose, weight. Regardless of whether or not I wear makeup. Regardless of what I wear.

I need someone to know my entire past, and it not make a single bit of difference in how they feel about me.

I need someone to understand all my fears, and let me know that they'll be there through them all.

I found that person. It's ironic actually. You know that saying, "it was right in front of you all along"? Well, it's true. He was right in front of me all along. He's all the things I need. He's so very much more. Each day I love him a little bit more. Each day I think I could never possibly love him more then I do now, but then something else happens and I'm moved to love more.

I know, you're probably thinking this will be like the other time. When I was soooo sure I'd found "the one" and then it all went terribly wrong. You are also probably wondering how I can be so sure that I've finally found "the one" this time. I mean, if I was wrong before, you probably think I'm wrong now to.

But, I KNOW I'm right this time. There is no mistaking it. This man....he is the one and I will never ever ever find anyone like him in my ENTIRE life.

I have proof.

Real proof. The kind no one can deny.

Proof that he loves me just as much as he says he does.

You see....... He sent His only Son to die for my sins so that I would be forgiven. So that He and I could be together. So that one day, I could live and never hurt or suffer or cry again.

I've found The One who will make all things right.

I'll never let Him go.

The best part............ He loves YOU that much also.