A Goodbye

To Him:

I realized today that I haven't really thought about you in quite some time. I've answered people's questions about you, told those who didn't know what happened. Yet, it's just relating facts. There is no pain associated with it anymore.

A while back someone explained to me that, after their wife left them, they just seemed to have an epiphany one day. They realized that they had an entire life, apart and separate, from the one they had shared with their wife. With that realization, they broke out of their box and started on a brand new journey. I've never seen them so happy before.

It didn't happen that way with me. There was no one day that boom, it didn't hurt anymore. As I've read over journal entries and blogs, I realize that my own heartache and pain has been gone quite some time. My heart aches for you and the choices you've made, just as my heart aches for others that are making bad life choices as well. My heart breaks when the children ask for you, or say that they miss you, but it breaks because of their pain. They don't ask about you often as they did before. They to have accepted that a door closed, and they are moving forward as well.

For some reason, Spring arriving seems to have stimulated us. With the warmer weather, we get to spend time outdoors as we've always enjoyed. We can hike, run, play.... "waste our day" as you would say. It's awesome. We have our lives back, totally and completely. As Spring has brought a renewing to the earth, it also brought a renewing to us. It's as if we are snakes, and we've slipped out of our old skin that no longer fit us, and have stepped forward to face the world in our new skin.

Life is good. We're happy. The dreams the children and I have had for years have finally started to come into place. We are stepping forward with the plans you had us put on hold, and have no doubts that we will succeed at all we set out to do.

Life is good today. Life will continue to be good. The sun still shines, my lungs still draw breath, a smile graces my face often. I'm even smiling now as I type this.

The children and I are growing and it's a beautiful experience.

I don't foresee that I'll have another reason to write to  you. I have no interest in doing so. Our lives no longer concern you, just as your life is separate and apart from ours. Although my soul already released it's own goodbye without my being aware, it's at this moment that I put it down immortalized.

It feels so good to say.......

GOODBYE.