I have always had restrictions on what could, and could not, be done to my body. Restrictions to ensure that I was always in full control. Restrictions to ensure I never experienced a flashback from prior trauma.
I kept the same type of restrictions on my heart. Restrictions in place to always ensure I never cared too much, never trusted too much. Restrictions that kept me from ever being hurt too much.
Yet, I trust him with every fiber of my being. I’ve said I trusted people before but I realize now I had no idea what trust was. None.
Trust is when you realize that in your heart of hearts, you don’t view your body as your own anymore but instead as his.
Trust is when you realize that everything he says you believe completely even when the sum of your life experiences tells you it simply any be true.
Trust is not wondering what he is doing when he isn’t with you.
Trust is being able to push away the fears and keep moving forward.
Trust is loving him completely without hesitation and without holding back.
Trust is realizing that none of the restrictions you held on your body and heart apply anymore.
Trust is asking him to bite you, to choke you, to claw you......... without holding back.
Trust is looking deep into his eyes and telling him, without a doubt, “I want you to hurt me because I trust you.”
