*&$% YOU

How dare you write me all these emails telling me how much you loved me, how much you had changed, and how much you were wanting "us" to work.

You want it to work when it's easy for you. Only when it's easy for you. When I do all the work. When I fix your fuck ups. When I make it better. When I love enough, trust enough, support enough for the both of us.

But I needed you to hold your share now. I needed you to fight for us. I needed you to fix your own screw ups.

You chose not to. You chose to take the distrust that you EARNED  from me and make a mockery of it. You chose to use it against me and to feel that you were being jilted. You chose to find it humorous and use it as a means to hurt me.

I was damned if I did trust you and damned if I didn't.

You didn't want "us" unless you didn't have to put forth any effort in it.

Well guess what? I was sick and tired of you draining me in every shape and form, mentally, emotionally, financially, physically.

You liked to remind me that I was dying, that i didn't have much time left and that I'd die alone if not with you.

Maybe you are right.

I'll take alone over your manipulation any day.

Yes, I'm pissed at you. Yes, I'm deleting all further emails now without reading them

I should have deleted them to start with.

Guess I'm a glutton for emotional and mental distress and pain.